Friday, 25 December 2009
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
Kurt Cobain's Suicide Note
To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.
For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.
I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.
For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.
I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!
Monday, 12 October 2009
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Friday, 4 September 2009
Thursday, 3 September 2009
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Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Rumah Seribu Cermin
Berjalan susuri ruang itu
Di setiap sudut yang kulihat tampak sama
Kemana arah yang harus ku tempuh?
Yang kuilihat hanya seribu wajahku di hadapanku...
Apakah ini semua mimpi?
Kuingin segera keluar dari tempat ini...
Jalan keluar tak juga kutemukan
Sempat terpikirkan hal tang kutakutkan
Kemana arah yang harus ku tempuh?
Yang kuilihat hanya seribu wajahku di hadapanku...
Apakah ini semua mimpi?
Kuingin segera keluar dari tempat ini...
Di setiap sudut yang kulihat tampak sama
Kemana arah yang harus ku tempuh?
Yang kuilihat hanya seribu wajahku di hadapanku...
Apakah ini semua mimpi?
Kuingin segera keluar dari tempat ini...
Jalan keluar tak juga kutemukan
Sempat terpikirkan hal tang kutakutkan
Kemana arah yang harus ku tempuh?
Yang kuilihat hanya seribu wajahku di hadapanku...
Apakah ini semua mimpi?
Kuingin segera keluar dari tempat ini...
Tuesday, 1 September 2009
Monday, 31 August 2009
Escape
Melompat dari menara menuju laut yang dingin dan gelap namun damai sekali berada didalam sana...melarikan diri dari bayang hitam yang mengejar, memburu dan takkan memberi ampun jika aku terjerat...
Tentang Seseorang
Gadis kecil bermahkota lugu dan rendah hati datang menyentuh jauh dan mentasbihkanku sebagai mimpi indah dalam fana...sadarkan senyum manisnya di hutan belantara bukan di taman surga...berlalunya putaran bumi menjelma sang pemangsa mandikan ribuan duri dengan peluknya...
Gundah
Tatapku kian nanar...ragaku melemah...satu persatu yang tecinta dalam hidupku mengembara dan memendamku dalam kubangan pertanyaan yang semakin ku mencoba mendekatinya semakin ku tak mengerti...gadis kecilku yg kulindungi dari dunia...yang kutampar agar tersedak dan muntahkan racun dengan sadar menelan racun itu sendiri dan tidak menyisakan aku sedikit pun...agar aku tahu rasa dan penawarnya...
Untuk Yang redup
Ayo bangun jangan tidur lagi...
Jangan anggap semua ini mimpi...
Kalau air mata tiada lagi menetes
tuk lepaskan semua nestapa yang ada di hatimu...
Kalau kau menyesal tak berarti...
Harus selalu ratapi diri...
Percaya akan ada hari untukmu dimana
tertawa bahagia bersama yang ada di hatimu...
Jangan anggap semua ini mimpi...
Kalau air mata tiada lagi menetes
tuk lepaskan semua nestapa yang ada di hatimu...
Kalau kau menyesal tak berarti...
Harus selalu ratapi diri...
Percaya akan ada hari untukmu dimana
tertawa bahagia bersama yang ada di hatimu...
Telaga Sunyi
Menelusuri tepi telaga... menyibakkan air kemuka dengan menyunggingkan senyum ke wajah yang terpantul di permukaan air dan terbayang ikan menari-nari ikuti riak air di sela-sela bebatuan...
Janji
Sinar rembulan menembus dedaunan percikkan sedikit pancaran yg membimbing langkahku ke arah gadis yang tersenyum dengan tatap mata damai yang menanti diujung dermaga...
Disease
Ribuan jarum berdesing mengoyak ragaku...menyekap nafasku...dalam gelap tatapku lukisan-lukisan titik balik hidupku bergaduh dikepalaku mengusik setiap saat tenangku...mentertawai kebodohanku...
Tersenyumlah
Kuinginkan kau hadir di dalam setiap langkahku...
Temani hari-hariku...
Dan semua yang ada padamu akan selalu...
Terbias indah dalam benakku... Hangatkan dingin hatiku...Dalam sepi kau datang dan berkata...
Tersenyumlah... Tersenyumlah...
Tersenyum saat cinta buat kau terluka...
Tersenyumlah... Tersenyumlah...
Tersenyum saat cinta buat kau bahagia...
Temani hari-hariku...
Dan semua yang ada padamu akan selalu...
Terbias indah dalam benakku... Hangatkan dingin hatiku...Dalam sepi kau datang dan berkata...
Tersenyumlah... Tersenyumlah...
Tersenyum saat cinta buat kau terluka...
Tersenyumlah... Tersenyumlah...
Tersenyum saat cinta buat kau bahagia...
Underground Stage
Ada banyak mata...Menatap dan menunggu...
Apa yang kan terjadi di atas sini...
Dan tiba saatnya...Meriahkan suasana...
Mainkan lagu yang mereka mau...
Dan kita menari tanpa pedulikan waktu...
Rasa bosan kini tak lagi mengganggu...
Ikuti geraknya disetiap lagu...
Dan teriak... Ikuti suaraku...
Apa yang kan terjadi di atas sini...
Dan tiba saatnya...Meriahkan suasana...
Mainkan lagu yang mereka mau...
Dan kita menari tanpa pedulikan waktu...
Rasa bosan kini tak lagi mengganggu...
Ikuti geraknya disetiap lagu...
Dan teriak... Ikuti suaraku...
Amnesia
Hati kecilku bertanya siapa diriku?
Mengapa ku di sini di dalam sepi?
Dunia yang aku lihat, mereka bahagia...
Apakah mereka telah temukan yang mereka cari?
Masalah datang m'buat ku resah...
Ku cari cara untuk hibur diriku...
Tarik nafas panjang dan hembuskan
Dan kukatakan dunia ini indah...
Dalam kebingungan ini aku temukan...
Satu hal yang ku suka...cinta...
Mengapa ku di sini di dalam sepi?
Dunia yang aku lihat, mereka bahagia...
Apakah mereka telah temukan yang mereka cari?
Masalah datang m'buat ku resah...
Ku cari cara untuk hibur diriku...
Tarik nafas panjang dan hembuskan
Dan kukatakan dunia ini indah...
Dalam kebingungan ini aku temukan...
Satu hal yang ku suka...cinta...
Mempelai Kecil
Di tepi sungai berair jernih...
Taman yang indah menyambut sepasang mempelai kecil
Bermain riang dengan gaun dan mahkotanya...
Sang Putri pun tertawa...
Lihat pangerannya datang...
Wajahnya merah karena tersipu malu...
Lugu hati mengharapkannya...
Oh...Tepuk tangan mereka iringi lagu...
Oh...Bernyanyi dan menari bersama...
Taman yang indah menyambut sepasang mempelai kecil
Bermain riang dengan gaun dan mahkotanya...
Sang Putri pun tertawa...
Lihat pangerannya datang...
Wajahnya merah karena tersipu malu...
Lugu hati mengharapkannya...
Oh...Tepuk tangan mereka iringi lagu...
Oh...Bernyanyi dan menari bersama...
Cermin
Seseorang dengan nanar berjalan sambil tertawa-tawa tanpa sadar sudah berjalan dan berbelok tiga kali ke tempat semula dan melihat seorang lain sedang menangis tersedu-sedu dan bertanya " hey kamu kenapa? kamu siapa?" orang tersebut tidak mejawab. Karena terlalu lelah orang yang sedang mabuk tersebut bersandar dan tertidur. Keesokan paginya dia terbangun dan terkejut ternyata orang yang dia ajak bicara adalah bayangan dirinya sendiri yang terpantul dalam sebuah cermin.
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
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Jalani Saja
Semua sudah berlalu...
Bukan seperti yang dulu...
Senantiasa kenangan mengaduh...
Serta taburkan perihnya...
Jalani saja hari ini bersama cerah mentari...
Songsonglah masa depan yang jadi apapun nanti...
Mungkin ini t'lah salah...
Atau memang jalannya?
Segalanya buatku resah...
Dan paksa aku berpikir...
Jalani saja hari ini bersama cerah mentari...
Songsonglah masa depan yang jadi apapun nanti...
Bukan seperti yang dulu...
Senantiasa kenangan mengaduh...
Serta taburkan perihnya...
Jalani saja hari ini bersama cerah mentari...
Songsonglah masa depan yang jadi apapun nanti...
Mungkin ini t'lah salah...
Atau memang jalannya?
Segalanya buatku resah...
Dan paksa aku berpikir...
Jalani saja hari ini bersama cerah mentari...
Songsonglah masa depan yang jadi apapun nanti...
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
HOMESICK
Hey hey! just one more and I'll walk away
All the everything you win turns to nothing today
And I forget when to move when my mouth is this
Dry and my eyes are bursting hearts in a blood-stained sky
Oh it was sweet it was wild and oh how we
I trembled stuck in honey
Honey cling to me so just one more just one more
Go inspire in me the desire in me to never go home
Oh just one more and I'll walk away
All the everything you win turns to nothing today
So just one more just one more go inspire in me
The desire in me to never go ...(TheCure)
All the everything you win turns to nothing today
And I forget when to move when my mouth is this
Dry and my eyes are bursting hearts in a blood-stained sky
Oh it was sweet it was wild and oh how we
I trembled stuck in honey
Honey cling to me so just one more just one more
Go inspire in me the desire in me to never go home
Oh just one more and I'll walk away
All the everything you win turns to nothing today
So just one more just one more go inspire in me
The desire in me to never go ...(TheCure)
HomesicK
... adalah perasaan kita merasa jauuuuh banget dari rumah.... sejauh bintang dari jaraknya .... saat kita lelah dan pulang ke rumah kita tau kalo rumah tempat melepas lelah... saat kita ngerasa gak nyaman dan aman kita tau saat kita pulang kita kan aman disana... saat kita tidak mengenal dunia dimana kita berada, saat kita pulang kita merasa rumah tempat yg sangat kita kenal dan mengenal kita... gakpernah menolak keberadaan kita... tapi gimana kalo perasaan itu semua udah gak ada lagi...
homesick
"When I was at home I feel like 2000 light years from home. I think I'll be homesick forever!!!
HOMESICK
Kapankah kukan pulang…
Dan Dengar canda tawamu…
Kapankah kukan pulang…
Dan Lihat Manis senyummu…
Kapankah kukan pulang…
Dan Rasa Hangat pelukmu….
Lelah Kian Luapkan angan
Sejauh bintang dari jaraknya…
Lelah Kian Luapkan angan
Dan Dengar canda tawamu…
Kapankah kukan pulang…
Dan Lihat Manis senyummu…
Kapankah kukan pulang…
Dan Rasa Hangat pelukmu….
Lelah Kian Luapkan angan
Sejauh bintang dari jaraknya…
Lelah Kian Luapkan angan
Sekelam malam hilang arahnya….
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